I hated my SVT.
I lived in such fear of it.
Every day, all day.
It was all I thought about.
I was crippled from the anticipatory anxiety of a looming episode.
I didn’t want to leave the house, didn’t want to travel, and I didn’t want to be alone with my kids. My mind was constantly thinking about all the worst case scenarios and I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and scaring myself.
I never felt well and I longed for relief, but was I in a vicious cycle…
I would eat things to help me forget my troubles and feel momentary relief, but feeling better was short lived, as it always resulted in the same thing…beating myself up for eating something unhealthy and then feeling physically worse.
And then there was the worry. I worried I would have an SVT almost as a punishment for eating something “bad”. Then came the promises to myself that I would eat healthier tomorrow
…I knew that I couldn’t keep my promises. I just didn’t have the energy that I needed to take better care of myself.
I was STUCK. I was on a hamster wheel. I felt sick and exhausted all the time and I hated my SVT.
I wasn’t just upset over my SVT. I was upset over a lot of things in my life. And although I worked on
myself…every day…I journaled, went to acupuncture, enjoyed reading transformational books, analyzed
my life… it didn’t feel like it was all adding up to what I yearned for. If I really let myself look at the
“Truth”, I felt helpless to change any of the real things that I knew were eating away at me in my life and
also compounding the situation.
Healing…is a way of being. It’s not something that “occurs” and then just exists in your life.
Healing is a process of making healthy choices for yourself and your life every single day, every hour, every minute.
Healing is a process.
It is a choice.
It can sometimes fell like the harder choice because it requires commitment, trust and truth telling. True healing means looking at painful things and
learning how to let go, process old emotions, re-parent yourself, change behaviors, change your diet, face what stops
you, embrace yourself, love yourself as you are right now with all your “defects” and make new commitments that seem scary. It means being really truthful and not using your SVT to avoid things that you don’t want to confront.
As I reflect back now, on my journey of SVT healing ,in addition to changing my diet, there were 3 things that played a major role in my healing and they all had to do with the emotional, spiritual and energetic layers that I discuss as part of the CORE FOUR HEALING Layers.
Here are 3 things that helped me overcome my SVT misery:
1. I made a real COMMITMENT and increased my TRUST: I was so tired of my SVT and the SVT fear that I felt that I was finally ready to make REAL commitments in my life. I gave up pizza, I committed to being gluten free. I was determined. I kept working hard or as hard as I could at the moment, even though I didn’t always feel immediate relief or see evidence that my work was paying off. I did all of that work TRUSTING that if I did, and if I kept at it, I would feel better. I just kept taking steps in what I thought was the right direction. I was like a soldier moving forward blindly until one day, I actually noticed my efforts, trust and commitments paying off. Then the results became a part of what fueled my commitments.
2. TRUTH-I started telling the truth. To myself and to others. Even when it wasn’t pretty and I didn’t want to. I especially told the TRUTH in my JOURNALS.
3. I TRUSTED- I trusted that if I did the “work” that I would eventually feel better. I trusted that one day the health, wealth, vitality and happiness that I dreamed about would be mine. I trusted that God had a bigger plan for me than to feel sick and miserable in my house every day. I trusted that one day I would figure out my purpose and how to live the life I dreamt about. To show the Universe that I trusted it, I invested in mindfull behaviors and thoughts that would ATTRACT the things I wanted
Today, my life is so different than it was back then…
I feel healthy. I never worry about SVT. I never have SVT. I recommit to my health and my values every single day to stay on course. I changed careers to reflect the things that I wanted to discuss and spend my time on everyday.
Because my life is so drastically different, and because I have changed my career as one of the many
aspects of my life to reflect my commitment, truth and trust, I now spend my time coaching and creating material for
people who felt as awful and confused as I used to feel.
I LOVE helping people get UNSTUCK and find the path to freedom and healing.
If your SVT is making you miserable, I PROMISE you that it doesn’t have to be like this forever. There are
things that you can do to help yourself. If you want, you can start reflecting on the qualities that I
mentioned that worked for me; Commitment, Truth and Trust.
- What am I committed to?
- Do I tell my truth?
- Do I trust my path?
- Do I have a relationship with a higher source?
- Do I trust that my life has a purpose?
- Do I know my purpose?
- Do I TRUST myself?
- What can I do to feel committed to my health and well being?
If you like these type of journaling prompts and want to keep journaling, check out my ONE OF A KIND JOURNALS HERE
Wishing you love and healing!
Xo Laura, Your SVT Coach,
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